Slow Motion

Every now and then I actually get a little excitement out of life.That's a broad,depressing statement,so let me clarify.I'm a high stress individual that thinks the world is out to get me.That being said the majority of my life,I have wondered around trying to make sense of it all.Yeah,how's that going for me?In all actuallity it's going pretty well.I haven't found the cure for AIDS or how to make world peace,but I have found some peace inside of my little head.It's taken entirely to long to get it,however I'm glad I have it.Now I know everyone always says money isn't everything yet it really is.Sure there is always true love and finding inner peace but who ever actually gets that anymore.Ever since I was a little kid I wondered what ever happened to the trade and barter system,it worked so well.Now if you want something you have to pay for it.Whether it's something you need or something you want.Up until two years ago to the day,I was busting my ass trying to pay rent and feed myself,I was doing a terrible job at it.I finally got my first real adult break when the company I now work for decided to give me a chance.Over the course of the last two year I have learned,worked hard,traveled to distant locations and earned a decent paycheck.It wasn't until recently I nticed how much I have changed in the last few years.Besides losing the rest of my hair and putting on a few pounds I actuallt enjoy waking up most mornings.I find myself smiling throughout the day for no reason.Now with all that being said,it really makes me angry.Here's why,who's to say I get the job and he doesn't.Who's to say I get to be happy and he can't.It just doesn't seem fair to the "little" guy.No I'm not going to give him my job or all my hard earned money.I know it isn't fair because for the longest time I was the little guy and it wasn't fair.Why does everything in America have to be based on money and financial gain.Maybe it would be a good idea for everything to fall apart.Maybe we should all sit back look at the ceiling and imagine it isn't there.Imagine you are outside with no grocery store,gas station,bank or government to tell you what to do.Could you survive or would the little guy steal your food?Just remember the little guy has been stepped on his whole life,he isn't about to let you take his last can of beans.

Enough Already

Oh yeah I'm loving it!The shipyard everybody,it's the place professional mariners go to die.It's also unfortunately where I have spent the majority of this year.Sure I know what you're thinking,stop complaining you have a job,and well you're right.I have this want inside of me to get back out there and actually tow a barge.This shipyard situation simply can't go on for much longer.With colder weather moving in all the time,almost all outside work will be removed from the equation.There simply won't be much to do in the shipyard,so why should they keep bringing men in to sit on the butts and make hundreds of dollars a day?The simple answer,we're good,so good in fact that they don't care if we get anything done.So good they couldn't let us defect to another company.This of course is crap.Sure we do a good job but lets be honest there are at this minute thousands of overqualified mariners sitting on there butts at home no making a dime.I'm also quite sure they would work me under the table,take a pay cut and still be happy about taking my job.This being said,I think everyone should know something about me.In my personal life I'm a bit loud and sometimes a little too rowdy.At work I'm the exact opposite.Don't get me wrong we have a good time when possible but for the most part I try and stay under the radar.Unfortunately over the last month I have had to go on both the offensive and defensive to try and protect my job.This does not mean that I kissed ass or threw someone under the bus to get ahead.I didn't have to,other people tried that,failed and it made me look better for not being the one who tried.So simply said,by staying under the radar,doing my job well and keeping my nose clean I seem to have come out in a good way.If I knew where the end of this economic downturn would be it could make my life,as well as millions of others,a bit easier.I still don't enjoy having talks in conference rooms about other employees that hold a higher rank than me,it just doesn't feel good.Especially when you get called down to the office like it was elementary school and all your friends are snickering.It is simply a situation you can't prepare for and have to keep that used car salesman smile on 24/7.So that's where it's at,the shipyard I have seen enough of for a long time.Looking forward to a few days at home and then possibly coming back early to be home for Thanksgiving.There is an secondary motive to that as I don't care much for turkey,hunting season of course.

A Few Pictures from a Few Hard Days of Work

The aftermath,this was after the area was chipped and cleaned and it still looked horrible
The rudder tiller,it's supposed to be either painted or polished

The ladder down into the "hole",aka the rudder room/lazzerette